Hi! I am a recovering creative procrastinator. You see, I have know for a VERY long time that writing is what I wanted to do with my life, but my family never supported that dream. To be honest, they never believed I was good enough despite never once reading a single word I had ever written. Ever. I was told to ignore my heart and do something that would “actually pay the bills,” and to, “be realistic.”
So, despite my deep desire to write for a living, I gave up my dream and became… you guessed it, a teacher. Well, one ulcer, three herniated discs, one autoimmune disease, and about 15 dislocated ribs later (all from stress) I decided to say, “Screw it!” and start writing again.
I don’t know about you, but I have lived in fear of writing my whole life. The thing I loved the most in the world was the thing I feared the most. I put too much stock in getting published and got frustrated when the story in my head did not come out on the page perfect on the first try. Surely everything Stephen King puts on the page is gold on try #1, right? SMH. I could not have been more wrong if I tried. Eventually, I didn’t need my mom holding me back, I started doing it myself.
It’s weird isn’t it, how this thing we love more than anything in our lives is often the one thing we avoid at all costs? Well, it wasn’t hard to figure out that that my fear had taken control of my life and I decided to fight back. I had been in the passenger seat for far too long and I was going to reclaim my power. I let go of my fear of never getting published. I let go of my fear of my mother’s disappointment. I let go of my fear of not being perfect, worthy, deserving, or just plain enough. I realized that I was the one who got to decide if I was a writer, and you know what? I AM A WRITER. If I have a pen and paper, or a computer and key board, I can sit my ass down and write, and THAT friends makes me a mother freaking writer.
This blog is NOT going to be perfect. It’s simply me working out my issues with writing and motivating my internal self to keep going. Hopefully, if you come across this, you will join me on the journey and sit yourself down and write, paint, draw, sew, create, or whatever it is that is calling to you from deep within your soul, and JUST DO IT!
Just the world’s BIGGEST procrastinator when it comes to my writing. I have lived in such crippling fear of not getting published (fear of rejection anyone?) that I was too afraid to even pick up a pen. How dumb is that? This is my attempt to write — no matter how it all shakes down. P.S. I also learned that if I didn’t write, it would destroy me one piece of my soul at a time.