Into the Vortex🌪

I start off every day with the best of intentions. Get up at 4. Meditate 🧘‍♀️. Do gratitude journal. Set 3 big goals for the day✏️. Accompany the dogs outside (they cannot go out alone even on the blusteriest of winter days 🥶 as they are what you would call “assholes” and cannot be left unsupervised for even two minutes) 🐶 🐶 Then I have to mix them their fancy breakfasts. Yes, I said fancy breakfasts. Thanks to living at home with my mother for two years while I paid off my student loans, she got them hooked on what has come to be called, “The Yums,” and we have yet to be able to break them of this unreasonable behavior. My dogs will quite literally go on a hunger strike and vomit for days on end before they would deign to eat non-yum food. I ultimately cave before them every time. But, like my writing over the past 2 days, I digress.

Still not done with my dog rant yet… sorry!

I can’t even get to how poorly my writing has been going the last few days, I’m still too busy talking about step 2 of my day (dealing with the demon doggies). Mixing the “Yums” takes about 10 minutes in total. They MUST each have 1 overflowing scoop of green bag dog food (they only like the green bag dog food, no longer the blue) mixed with 1/2 a large can of Pedigree wet dog food (preferably the cheeseburger one, but honestly, when it comes to the yums, any will do). But this is the important part, you need to leave a little yum in the can to mix 3/4 a cup of hot water with it until it creates a “gravy,” as my mother calls it. After pouring this new mixture into the bowl you again have to mix for approximately 3 minutes per bowl, making it “just right”. And then their bowls need to be placed no more than three feet from one another. Any more and they think the other is encroaching on their turf, any less and they flip out thinking the other might be given something better than what they have.

According to my mom, I don’t do any of this as well as her, and I need to work on my mixing technique to really coat every morsel 🙄 🙄 It is then that I remind her that the only reason I have to do any of those asinine steps is because she turned my dogs into monster babies while we lived with her.

You will probably not be surprised to learn that they each also take multiple pills every morning. Are they 900 in dog years you ask? N0, they’re 4, going on 1,000,000,000. My dogs have to take copious amounts of medicine just to keep them from eating my house, each other, and scratching their own faces off (they have the worst allergies a dog can have and the medication for that is almost $200 alone per month 💰💰 Oh, and at 4, they have full on hip dysplasia that requires a lot of medication to keep them comfortable as well. They are lucky they’re cute!!!!

Once I get up the nerve to do all that, they then need to be escorted outside one more time on leashes because it they are not, they will run away from me and never come back in. All in all, this dog circus takes about 30 minutes and by then, I am officially behind schedule and already a little cranky.

I go to my room where I open my computer and get distracted by everything BUT my writing. By the time the next hour has passed, I have paid my credit card bill, researched how to replace a bathroom cabinet, checked social media twice, and cuddled my dogs at least three times each. I look at the clock, realize I only have 20 minutes to write, write for 40 and put myself behind for work. I then skip my shower because I’m so behind, guess I’m going to teach online school like this for the third day in a row… maybe if I put on a scarf they won’t realize my hair still isn’t washed and this is, indeed, the same outfit I wore yesterday. 💻 I crush my teaching and make students smile despite the fact that I’ve muted them permanently so the smart alecks in 3rd period can’t say dumb things for me to yell at them for, but like Stephen King says, when the teaching day is over, I’m tapped out. The wires attached to my head have drained all my energy yet again.

Not #winning at life by any means

I’ve noticed that I’m definitely not winning at life, but I AM definitely at the point in my writing where I will do anything and everything to procrastinate sitting down to write. I guess that’s good news, right? I made it far enough into my book to get past the honeymoon phase and into the annoyed-so-badly-I’ll-do-anything-to-avoid-you phase. I’m officially an old married couple with my story! Whoot Whoot 🎉🥂🥳 “Why didn’t you make the bed this morning?” “Do I seriously have to take the trash out again?” “Do you even know how to turn off a light switch?””I swear to God, if you walk through this house with muddy shoes one more time…!”

Tonight, my story is hogging the covers, ensnaring itself firmly around my body and mind so it can be present in my dreams and then we can wake up, a tangled mess, and do it all again tomorrow.

Sleep well. I know I won’t 😴

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writeordiegirl01 View All →

Just the world’s BIGGEST procrastinator when it comes to my writing. I have lived in such crippling fear of not getting published (fear of rejection anyone?) that I was too afraid to even pick up a pen. How dumb is that? This is my attempt to write — no matter how it all shakes down. P.S. I also learned that if I didn’t write, it would destroy me one piece of my soul at a time.

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